Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes for Facebook

    ·        I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

·        Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

·        Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

·        A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

·        My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

·        Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

·        Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

·        People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

·        A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

·        Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

·        I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

·        I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

·        Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

·        I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

·        Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.