Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

·       When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.



·       Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?



·       Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.



·       I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.



·       The only thing good that can possibly be said about Monday is that it is only four days away from Friday.



·       Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.



·       Isn’t your pants’ zipper supposed to be in the front?



·       My Mothers MENU had only two items: 1: Eat it or 2: Leave it.



·       You hav a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.



·       If your legs open up faster than Google’s homepage. You are not girlfriend material.



·       He’s so optimistic he’d buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants.



·       All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.



·       You hav a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.



·       All the letters from A to Z couldn’t express what you mean to me. Not without cloning them and using some over and over.



·       Being sociable is a skill you can learn. It’s like throwing a spiral, riding a bicycle, or murdering your clone’s lover, who also happens to be your girlfriend.