Funny Facebook Status
· I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
· I am not ALWAYS on Facebook, you just always happen to be on at the same time. which means your always on! HA! ;)
· Thank God I was young and stupid BEFORE there were camera phones.
· School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
· Strangers: "Excuse me please." Family: "Hey move!" Best friends: "Get the f*** out of my way!"
· If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
· I'm going door to door to promote my new gym. It's called "Jehovah's Fitness".
· Hate it when you open the fridge and can’t find what you were looking for; like happiness and perfect abs.
· My ring tone is a woman faintly screaming ‘Help me, Superman. Help me!’ and then I run away, unexplained.
· If people in horror movies listened to me, they'd still be alive.
· They seriously need an express lane at the Bank for those of us who have less than $100 dollars in our checking account.
· I am not ALWAYS on Facebook, you just always happen to be on at the same time. which means your always on! HA! ;)
· Thank God I was young and stupid BEFORE there were camera phones.
· School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
· Strangers: "Excuse me please." Family: "Hey move!" Best friends: "Get the f*** out of my way!"
· If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
· I'm going door to door to promote my new gym. It's called "Jehovah's Fitness".
· Hate it when you open the fridge and can’t find what you were looking for; like happiness and perfect abs.
· My ring tone is a woman faintly screaming ‘Help me, Superman. Help me!’ and then I run away, unexplained.
· If people in horror movies listened to me, they'd still be alive.
· They seriously need an express lane at the Bank for those of us who have less than $100 dollars in our checking account.
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